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Playing With House
Money No More
- 2/8
It's time to grow up and I don't mean "get a real job." In fact,
next month I'm leaving a real job and starting over across the
country so I can be with my girlfriend. As someone who has gotten
a little too comfortable living at home, I couldn't be more happy
and scared at the same time.
To the most of you who don't know me offstage let me just say that
I am not a rags to riches story. Hopefully I'll be a riches to
rags to a little more riches than when I started story.
Since I graduated college a few years ago, I've coasted through
life in my childhood shelter without paying rent, utilities and
food. There has always been a safety net. Yeah, I've embarked on a
"daring" comedy career, but at the same time I have a housekeeper
who does my laundry. (Don't worry, I'm about to punch myself in
the face.)
You can say, "Oh, that's smart - you're saving money." Yeah, but
there's a fine line between being smart and staying a little too
long in a room with a Spiderman light switch and race car bedding.
(Actually, I may not finish this blog so I can start packing now
and make the first flight out tomorrow. I did move my departure up
from June to March.)
In my hometown of Great Neck, a.k.a. G-Neck, a.k.a. Jew-Neck, I
think I'm the only 20-something within the town limits. I go to a
local gym where the women fall into two categories: jailbait and
MILF. Yep, just pampered teeny boppers and trophies wives. For the
two categories of guys, it's Abercrombie poster boys and old men
who "work out" in the sauna.
A lot of growing up doesn't only mean paying your expenses, but
also being around people that share your interests and will help
you grow. And I don't need to grow anymore pushy, a.k.a. Jewish
thank you very much. My dad is like "What about your health
insurance?" I replied, "I'll get a job with benefits. It's not
like I'm gonna get cancer in 3 weeks!"
Moving is daunting, but my girlfriend put it as simply as
possible. "Just put stuff in boxes and take them with you." That's
it. It's not like Super Mario Brothers where you have to enter a
castle and defeat a fire-breathing dragon while 80s polka is
playing in the background. (Ok, you get it!)
Maybe I've been listening to Switchfoot's "Dare You to Move" too
much or maybe my girlfriend helped me see the light a little too
clearly, but I'm changing it up. I'm taking a few steps back to
take several steps forward. Watch my show calendar dwindle then
regrow. And how will you know if I've "made it?" Well, let's hope
the days return when a housekeeper is doing my laundry. In fact,
maybe I'll outbid my parents for the one we have now. |
Blog
Archive
1/22 - Get Out of School Free Card
1/21 - Shoveling Dad
1/6 - Vegas Baby Vegas
12/26 - The Rock n' Roll
Rabbi
12/14 - Making the
Working Class Laugh
12/7 - Lucky Seven
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