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Vegas Baby Vegas
- 1/6
Right now thousands of people just pulled an
all nighter at the slot machines in Vegas. How is that possible?
It's not how much money do you want to gamble in Vegas. It's how
much money do you want to lose in Vegas and frankly after you make
that initial $40 there's nowhere to go, but down.
The Vegas aura is unforgiving. People can smoke anywhere in the
casino and if the drinks aren't free they are insanely expensive.
I woke up one day with a hangover, but I didn't even drink the
previous night. I was "Vegased." And I had to get out of the
casinos or at least play games in the arcades. I had much more fun
using my money for skeeball and air hockey than losing my money at
the slots.
Of course since it was Vegas I did have to check out its less
inhibited side. Saw an adult show called La Femme. It was La
Crappe. I get it - T & A and they are in uniform and they are
being choreographed to music written around the time of the French
Revolution. I had a much better time the next night watching a
hypnotist get a muscle bound redneck to admit he had a chronic
masturbation problem. The final thing he made this guy do was
pretend he was a Chippendale. So he took off his shirt, threw it
into the crowd and was awoken topless to a crowd laughing at him.
He was embarrassed and muttered to his girlfriend afterwards "WTF
was that?" It was Vegas.
I also took a road trip to Downtown Vegas to the Graceland Wedding
Chapel. Hey, I wanted to see where Jon Bon Jovi got married 15
years ago. Nice little chapel. I got a replica of his marriage
certificate. And of course down the block was one of Vegas' many
adult stores. Having never been in one, I had to peek.
I think I was in there a total of 5 seconds.
I saw all those items
in there as ways women can upgrade from being with a man's natural manhood.
Guys, we have a lot of competition. All kinds of cylinders, plugs,
shafts, celebrity replicas... yeah, I wish I was making this up
too.
Oh, and did I mention that of the ten people in the store with me,
I was the only one who had bathed in the past 72 hours. I left
before I laughed at all the unintentional comedy. I didn't want to
crack up right as someone was purchasing his 4-hour Sodomania
DVD. Hey, it's not skeeball, but it's using your money. And it's
Vegas. |
Blog
Archive
12/26 - The Rock n' Roll
Rabbi
12/14 - Making the
Working Class Laugh
12/7 - Lucky Seven
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